Day 354: making my bed

Once again, it has been shamefully long since I checked in. Life has been crazy lately. I have relocated about 25 miles away from the home I shared with my husband for 7.5 years. It was hard to leave and I am still working on making this place feel like mine. I have taken this as a chance to stop living like a disgusting frat boy and start actually cleaning up after myself. I even started making my bed every day.

I have never been one that placed much importance on bed making. I always had the philosophy that I was just going to mess it up again so why even bother? But, now there is something calming about the clean feeling of walking in and seeing everything look on point, which nowadays feels better than not bothering straightening the mess because I know the mess will just be recreated. This is also how I am choosing to try to live my life.

I know as I continue to grieve there will be messy, emotional days but I cannot make the decision to not make attempts to straighten myself up and keep moving forward. It is nice sometimes to feel put together instead of simply waiting for that next wave to wash over and try to drag me below again.

Good thing for today: As a different sort of day count, I am counting the dwindling days until Friday when my new guy and his daughter arrive for a two week stay, which means also additional support for my one year, at which point I will stop labeling my posts with the number of days since his death. I no longer felt the need to count several months ago and use a day between dates calculator to figure out what day I am on any way, but it felt most complete to finish the year as I started. So maybe that is two good things for today?