When faced with the impossible task to eulogize my husband, I tried to concentrate on what I really wanted people to know about him. It started making me think about everything our marriage taught me. Today, I am feeling tired and overwhelmed, so I am going to simply list of the eleven lessons I talked about in my speech. Each one has a reason and story, which I may talk about in the future, but for now, here they are:
1. One person with drive and motivation can take on what others may say is impossible and make a real difference. So for him, if there is something you want to make happen, just don’t accept no for an answer.
2. Life moves really fast these days. Too fast. Often we don’t give ourselves the opportunity to look beyond a first impression. I can attest that first impressions are not always right and you could find the treasure of a lifetime by giving something, or someone, a second look.
3. Find a perfect moment and hold onto it, cherish it, and let it live on forever because despite everything, thinking of my perfect moment with him still gives me peace.
4. No matter how bleak things may be there is always a reason to smile.
5. Although it can feel like a trite statement, sometimes, but not all the time, things really do happen for a reason. (This one I think I need to add some context to in order for it to make sense. I wasn’t referring to him passing away. Instead I was talking about the blessing of getting a brand new puppy the day before he passed because she was such a comfort to me and all the people that came to visit. She and my other 3 little ankle biters give me a reason to get up in the morning.)
6. An act of kindness that may seem small to you can mean so much more than what you may have thought.
7. Be who you are and embrace it, even if who you are is a super nerdy guy. There are other super nerds out there that will naturally migrate to you.
8. Love fiercely, intensely, and without wavering.
9. Do not wait to make your dreams come true. Take that big trip you have on your wishlist now. See the world.
10. People love you and care about you more than you can ever imagine. Don’t focus on who doesn’t like you, embrace those that do.
11. Don’t be camera shy. Let as many pictures of yourself with your loved ones be taken.
So there you have it. 34 years on Earth and 10 years together boiled down to just eleven things. It feels so insignificant. I felt at the time I could go on forever with lesson after lesson, but in the moment, those are the things that meant the most to me so it is what it is.